Q: When did God create Adam?
A: a little before Eve…”
Q: What did Adam and Eve do after they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden?
A: They raised Cain.
Q: How long did Cain hate his brother?
A: As long as he was Able.
Q: What was the first math problem in the Bible?
A: When God told Adam and Eve to, “Go forth and multiply!”
Q: How many people went on the Ark before Noah?
A: Three! Because it is written “And Noah went forth onto the Ark!”
Q: Who was the greatest financial planner in the Bible?
A: Pharaoh’s Daughter, because she went down to the Bank of the Nile and pulled out a profit.
Q: Who were the three people in the Bible without Fathers?
A: Adam, Jesus, and Joshua the son of Nun.
Q: Where is the first example of cannibalism in the Bible?
A: That would be 2 Kings ate one.
Q: Who was the smallest person in the Bible?
A: “Bildad the Shu-hite” or “Nee-hi-Miah,” or “Peter who slept on his watch.”
Q: What was Jesus’ favorite fish?
A: “A Gupee” (agape means “love” in Greek)
Q: What was Jesus’ least favorite food?
A: Passion Fruit
Q: What was Jesus’ favorite part of the newspaper?
A: the Cross word section
Q: How does Jesus get around New York?
A: He takes the Tran-Sub Station
Q: What kind of car did the Apostles drive?
A: A Honda, because in the book of Acts it says, “the Apostles were all in one Accord.”
Q: Did you know Jesus was a cattle farmer?
A: Sure, because he always talked about His pair-of-bulls.
Q: How many Church members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change? What do you mean change?
Q: How many Congregationalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, first we need a committee to decide whether or not to change the light bulb. Then we need a committee to decide the process for changing the lightbulb. And finally we need a committee to select the number of people to carry out said process of changing the lightbulb.
Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change? That’s my Mother’s lightbulb!
Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change a light bulb with all that water around?
Q: How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We believe the light bulb will be changed by faith, not by works that we do.
Q; How many Episcopals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly three. One to change the light bulb, one to hold the chair, and one to mix the drinks.
Q: How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, you can change the light bulb or not change it, or just do an interpretive dance about light.
Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whoa, slow down! We’re still burning candles around here.
Q: How many Quakers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just wait for the “inner light.”
